Julie and Jed writing. Julie says “Yes, we’re writing. Really.”
That title is a play on words, and you have to read on to learn the meaning. Last spring, some of the folks who responded to my reader survey asked for some stories from real clients. So here you go: an interview with a pair of clients I worked with in 2017 and 2018. Many of my clients come to me via word-of-mouth, but a few—like Julie and Jed—are folks I’ve been acquainted with in the past.
Julie Jones was one of my students in my very first year of teaching at Converse College. We lost touch after she graduated, but later we reconnected at a writing conference and saw each other occasionally after that. Then a few years ago, after Julie finished her doctorate, she joined the faculty at Converse College, becoming my colleague. Talk about coming full circle. Along the way, Julie introduced me to Jed Dearybury, another gifted educator and her writing partner. Jed earned graduate degrees from Converse, though he was never my student. It was a privilege and a joy to work with Julie and Jed. I’ll let them tell you all about what brought them to coaching.
Heyday Coaching: Could you start by introducing yourself to my readers? Tell us a little about who you are--at work and outside of work?
Jed. My name is Jed Dearybury. I am an 18 year veteran in education. I have taught first, second, and third grades as well as higher ed. I am also a public speaker for education events as well as a professional development facilitator across the country. And thanks to some guidance from Heyday Coaching, add author to that list. :)
Julie: Hi friends! I’m Julie Jones and I have the wonderful job of mentoring future teachers at Converse College in Spartanburg, SC. In addition to directing student teaching, I teach graduate and undergraduate courses in learning theory, curriculum, and pedagogy. I’ve taught now for 20 years, fourteen in the public schools at varying levels, both general and special education, and 6 in higher education. Outside of my day-job, I am an avid reader and am currently taking classes to be a yoga teacher. (My dream is to use these new skills with children.)
HC: You first came to me for coaching in the fall of 2017. What prompted you to seek out coaching, and what were you looking for in a coach?
Jed: Dr. Julie Jones and I had been working on a book for years. We had been railroaded, derailed, and off the tracks for several months and needed someone to get us back on track.. Your experience as a writer and a coach was a perfect match for us to regain our focus and momentum in completing the book. We were looking for someone who would be personable with us, yet guide us firmly. We wanted someone who was easy to talk with and not intimidating, yet someone who knew the publishing world and all of its hurdles.
Julie: Oh, bless our hearts. Jed and I think so much alike. Except when we don’t. Grin. Seriously, we work well together because he thinks of nuggets that I don’t. And I ask questions—maybe too many—that lead to more and more conversation. All this greatness is why we needed help. Lots of great conversation and caffeine, but not a lot of progress. We needed direction, attainable goals, and accountability.
HC: Could you talk a little about the coaching process? How did we work together? What was most helpful for you?
Jed: We met each time at our favorite coffee shop. It was the perfect place because it was cozy, warm, and full of good vibes. I looked forward to every meeting we had with you because I knew that it would be a learning experience that would move me (us) closer to our goal of finishing the book. Your coaching techniques always spurred reflection, and that reflection moved us to action. I really benefited from the mapping, reflective drawings, and honest discussion. Some of the visuals we created during coaching are forever ingrained in my memory.
Julie: Well, we work best over hot beverages and pastries, so that was a must. Thankfully, you could come to us and work within our element. Each session varied depending on what we needed. Sometimes it involved clarification of our goals and current direction, sometimes developing action steps, and sometimes Jed and I would be so stuck we didn’t know what direction to head in. These times were some of the most memorable because the experiences you guided us through helped us define what our difficulties were (for us, a difference in communication styles) and how to work more effectively together. Jed and I happen to both be visual thinkers, so the exercises in our journals were great for us because we can continue to revisit them. I love that you were able to combine what you know of us as individuals and use it to help us as professionals.
Signing the contract at one of their favorite writing spots, Downtown Deli and Donuts in Spartanburg.
HC: I always tell people that every single coaching relationship is unique because every client’s needs are different. Working with the two of you was my first experience in coaching two people at once. For me, part of the challenge was figuring out how to relate to your different needs and help you better understand how to work with each other. Can you say something about how that process worked for you?
Jed: Julie and I are very different, yet oddly the same. I say oddly because in our book we banter back and forth like a middle school brother and sister, yet we were always on the same page for the sake of the work and the profession. When you met with us, it felt like you knew each of us so well. You helped me to see how my own insecurities about my writing were holding back the work in my mind. You helped me to see them without judgment. You did the same with Dr. Jones. It was as beneficial to watch you coach her as it was me. Beautifully, you were actually coaching us both at the same time.
Julie: Can I just bless our hearts again? Jed and I do a lot of fussing—playful fussing—but I’m sure I secretly get on his nerves. Thankfully, our banter has served to help us both to grow as educators. It still does. You were able to recognize this dynamic right away and use it to guide us toward our goal. You didn’t shy away from the hard questions—especially those that got us talking about that which we generally use humor to avoid. Getting to the root of what drives us was key to finding our direction.
HC: We worked together on a monthly basis for about 10 months and then, apart from an occasional meeting or text message consult, you worked on the book project on your own. In what ways did the things you learned in the coaching process help you keep going?
Jed: Julie and I talked about the meetings with you often. We reflected on your words and the learning experiences we had with you almost every time we wrote. The most important for us was texting you about our progress at the end of each writing session. Your encouragement and celebration with us as we progressed towards our goal was just as beneficial as the meetings. Having you on the other end of the work, cheering for us, reminded me of all the marathons I have run and the folks who lined the route boosting my legs and energy with their shouts of pride. It kept me going then, and your words of encouragement kept me going as I wrote.
Julie: Seeing that we only met once a month gives me pause, because in hindsight I feel like you were there so much more often. It may be because we were able text you about small accomplishments and be validated by your celebratory responses. Also, the notes we kept from our sessions kept us reflecting on the action steps we decided on in our sessions while we continued to work on the project. There were times where we’d have an idea or a question, and we’d add it to our “Melissa-list.” Also, I will say that knowing we had to report in with our progress each month went a LONG way to helping us focus on our goals.
HC: I know that the story of your big breakthrough on your book project is kind of a dramatic one, and it’s a success that is a product of your persistence and your willingness to take risks and put yourself out there. Could you share with readers how that evolved?
Julie: First, we knew and believed in our message. That knowledge, in itself, kept us going. For a long time. As we worked, the vision of the product reshaped itself. We had conversations with a publisher in the beginning who redesigned our vision to make it what was perceived as “marketable,” but it sucked the life out of our work. No longer did the new structure represent who we are, which really affected our output. We were deflated. Time in the coaching process helped us see that, and went back to archived files and resurrected them. The coaching process gave us the encouragement, maybe even the bravery, to be our authentic selves. There was a time where we were declined by every publisher we contacted. Still, the work wasn’t yet capturing who we are. I can remember where I was the moment the lightbulb came on for me. I was sitting at a red light, with scattered thoughts… just waiting. I can see the Aldi market off to my left, and the CVS on my right. I can even see the city bus that turned and came within inches of my car. The bus made me think of the CAT bus at Clemson where I did my doctoral work. Clemson made me think of the Play Conference we attend every year, and the coalition for which we are ambassadors. Play. Play! It takes several lines here to explain, but this thought process took seconds. I grabbed my phone, told Jed our problem was not being our full TRUE selves. We are playful. We are all about play. Why are we not making that the focus of the book. It really already was, you know? Once we discovered the heart of our message, we were able to rewrite quickly. We’d been dancing around it all along. The rest is really serendipitous. We sent the introduction and two chapters to Wiley Jossey Bass, and an editor replied in a day. A day! Jed was going to be presenting in the same area where the editor lived, so he set up a coffee conversation. Representatives of the publisher then went to see him present on the topic of the book. We had a contract signed within two months. The key here was that we kept going—we kept writing and seeking our own authenticity. Coaching was SO VERY KEY to us in that process.
Jed: 4 years. FOUR LONG YEARS. That’s how long it took us to finish this work. It didn’t come without rejections, doubts, fears, and some serious concerns about our writing ability. I said to Julie after we submitted the final manuscript… “The work is just beginning.” I meant that now our private writings are now on the way out into the public. The risk-taking is now at a whole new level. Yes, writing and submitting to publishers was a risk, but now that it will be out in the public, it feels a bit like standing naked on Main Street. We are still evolving in this process. Who knows… we may need some more coaching on the next steps soon. You are my first pick!
Julie calls this one the “OMG moment.” This was the moment when each of them read the publisher’s email offering them a book contract.
HC: What advice would you give someone who is thinking about working with a coach in order to move forward on a big project?
Jed: DO IT!! The focus and clarity that I was able to gain from this experience was invaluable to the process. Admittedly, I was hesitant at first. “What could a coach possibly say to me that I hadn’t already said to myself,” was my reaction when Julie first mentioned a coach. I am so glad I got over that hesitancy. I am already thinking of other things in my life where I might need a coach. :)
Julie: I’m really glad Jed and I discovered the joy and soul searching process that comes from coaching. We reached out because we were trying to make it work in a duo- and one that was stymied by our own beautifully flawed qualities. If only I had known how helpful it would be- we surely would have reached out sooner. The realizations we came to—from the accountability, encouragement, and real talk—helped us get to our goals so much sooner than we could have alone.
HC: And tell us about your book. What’s the title and where can we learn more about it?
Jed: The title is, The Playful Classroom: The Power of Play for ALL Ages. It is available for preorder on Amazon now and will be released in June of 2020. Here is a little snippet from the back cover:
Research studies show that all students―young and old, rich and poor, urban and rural―benefit immensely from classrooms filled with art, creativity, and laughter. Fun, playfulness, creative thinking, and individual expression reinforce positive experiences, which in turn lead to more engaged students, better classroom environments, and successful learning outcomes. Designed for K-12 educators, The Playful Classroom describes how teachers can develop a playful mindset for giving students meaningful, relevant and fun learning experiences. This unique real-world guide provides you with everything you need to incorporate engaging, hands-on lessons and creative activities, regardless of the level and subject you teach.
Building on contemporary and seminal works on learning theory and play pedagogy, the authors explain how to inspire your students by bringing play. into your classroom. This clear, user-friendly guide supplies practical strategies and effective solutions for adding the missing ingredients to your classroom culture. Access to the authors’ companion website provides videos, learning experiences, and downloadable teaching and learning resources. Packed with relatable humor, proven methods, and valuable insights, this book enables you to:
Provide meaningful experiences that will benefit students both in school and later in life
Combine the principles of PLAY with traditional curricula to encourage creative learning
Promote trust, collaboration, and growth in students
Develop a playful mindset for bringing the arts into every lesson
Foster critical thinking in any school community
Julie: I love our book. I know we wrote it and should love it, but you have to know when you read it- you’re really peeking in on our coffee shop conversations. Southernisms and all. Snarky personalities and all. The sketchnotes we included are the real deal—straight from our journals over the four years we crafted this work. I think this element is what makes it just so great. You’re reading about neuroscience and pedagogy, but you’re getting us too. We’re a pretty fun pair. I mean, I like hanging out with us. Readers can now hang out with us, too.
Heyday Coaching: I agree. Julie and Jed are a fun pair, and I like hanging out with them, too.